Updated: Jan 8
I'm a nervous nellie. I worry about everything. If I have a headache, I have a tumor. It's just how I'm wired. I know that about myself now but I didn't always. I also used to worry about what other people thought about me. Part of that stems from being made fun of as a kid but the other part was because I wasn't confident enough to accept me for who I was. I wanted others to accept me for me, giving me permission to accept myself and to validate acceptance of myself. Self-acceptance can't come from anyone else but you. I had it backward the whole time and didn't realize it. Not knowing these types of things about yourself makes this journey that much harder because it can be really confusing!
In the video above, you'll see Paige jumping off a cliff in Santorini, Greece. What you don't see is her Dad, Uncle, and cousin jumping off before her. What you also don't see is me. I'm the one taking the video. There was plenty of pressure to go out there with them and experience this once in a lifetime event. There was also that nagging sense of guilt of what if I don't go, will I regret it? I mean we are on an island in Greece but it is October and the water is freezing and I really don't like heights anymore....There was an internal debate going on and I felt like both sides had merit. I took a step back and considered the "why" I would go and the reason for me was because I didn't want to be that stick in the mud not participating. For me, that wasn't good enough. I was comfortable in my decision because it was my decision. I accepted that decision.
I get it, sometimes we all need a push to put ourselves out there to do something we really don't want to. There is no question, that is a scary feeling. I know Paige was nervous up there all alone. But that isn't what I'm talking about here. This is about getting to know who you are and accepting who you are so that you can make the decisions that are best for you instead of following in another's footsteps and regretting the choice. Had I gone along I probably wouldn't have regretted that decision. The important thing here is that the decision I DID make, I don't regret because I had thought it through and gave myself the permission to accept my choice.
Here's what I know. In life you will regret the decisions made when you didn't fully weigh and consider all the options. (As an aside, this does not include your decision of whether or not to eat the brussels sprouts at dinner.) If you made a decision without considering your feelings, needs, and wants you haven't given yourself the permission to decide and there is a high probability you will regret it later.
Life is all about choices. You have to give yourself permission to put your thoughts and feelings into the mix because it's your choice and you matter. Before you make your choice make sure you give yourself permission to consider all the options and accept the choices you make. Then and only then will you live your life fully. Whatever that means for you.
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